Publisher: Random House / Random House Audio
Published: January 19, 2021
Source: Print – Personal Copy / Audio via library
Summary:
From the New York Times best-selling author of The Still Point of the Turning World comes an incisive memoir about how she came to question and redefine the concept of resilience after the trauma of her first child’s death.
“Congratulations on the resurrection of your life”, a colleague wrote to Emily Rapp Black when she announced the birth of her second child. The line made Rapp Black pause. Her first child, a boy named Ronan, had died from Tay-Sachs disease before he turned three years old, an experience she wrote about in her second book, The Still Point of the Turning World. Since that time, her life had changed utterly: She left the marriage that fractured under the terrible weight of her son’s illness, got remarried to a man who she fell in love with while her son was dying, had a flourishing career, and gave birth to a healthy baby girl. But she rejected the idea that she was leaving her old life behind – that she had, in the manner of the mythical phoenix, risen from the ashes and been reborn into a new story, when she still carried so much of her old story with her. More to the point, she wanted to carry it with her. Everyone she met told her she was resilient, strong, courageous in ways they didn’t think they could be. But what did those words mean, really?
This book is an attempt to unpack the various notions of resilience that we carry as a culture. Drawing on contemporary psychology, neurology, etymology, literature, art, and self-help, Emily Rapp Black shows how we need a more complex understanding of this concept when applied to stories of loss and healing and overcoming the odds, knowing that we may be asked to rebuild and reimagine our lives at any moment, and often when we least expect it. Interwoven with lyrical, unforgettable personal vignettes from her life as a mother, wife, daughter, friend, and teacher, Rapp Black creates a stunning tapestry that is full of wisdom and insight.
My thoughts:
This was the book club pick last month for the Zibby Book Ambassadors and it was such an interesting choice. I love memoirs so of course I signed up to participate and I’m so glad I did because the discussion was so insightful!
This is actually Emily Rapp Black’s third memoir, but the first one I read. This one is almost a sequel to the previous one but she gives enough backstory that I really had no issues understanding where she was coming from. The main theme that carries through this memoir is that of resilience. She has just lost her first born to an illness and has another child, a new marriage and is trying to navigate her new normal.
This was such a raw look at what it is to grief and how at the end of the day, there is no right way. We all need to go through the process in our own way. What works for one is not going to work for someone else and we all need to be okay with that.
The bookclub was led by Meghan Riordan Jarvis, who was able to bring her own unique perspective on grief to the discussion. Meghan shared her story and then opened up the discussion to the group and I appreciated hearing everyone’s stories. This is definitely a book that may not be for everyone, but discussing it leads to a deeper appreciation for what the author has gone through.
Audio thoughts:
I love listening to memoirs on audio, especially when the author narrates them, as was the case here. I felt that Emily shared her story of grief in such a candid and honest way. It was raw and at times brutally honest and I know there are parts I will be thinking about for a long time.
